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Cross Cultural Differences can be a Blessing or a Curse. It all Depends on Your Attitude!

Success Stories
         
Of course, like all serious dating sites we have our success stories, and here are some of them. These Western men came to CLM to seek, find, meet, befriend, chat with, and love a beautiful Chinese women, and succeeded. So can you.
A Beautiful Chinese American Love Story

 This happy couple met on ChinaLoveMatch and now enjoy wedded bliss.来美两个多月了 ,感谢chinalovematch让我有缘结识我先生。

我做了5年的单身妈妈,深知其中的艰辛。想要成立新家庭的愿望,也往往面临着各种的压力。我登陆贵网站是来自家人和朋友的鼓励,给自己一个机会。

20138月,我和我先生相识了,随后我们每天通信,彼此交流对于生活和感情的看法,对于未来的打算。当年的11月,我办好签证,去美国看望他。他和他的家人都很热情,我也切身感受到这是一个非常友好传统的家庭。

之后我们的感情就更近一步,圣诞前夕,他向我求婚,之后我们就开始着手办理未婚妻签证。这的确是一个漫长的过程。我们足足用了一年多的时间才得到签证。

来美后,我先生对我和孩子都很好。之前我也曾经彷徨过,我辞去国内很好的工作,来到美国,带着孩子,英语也仅仅是上学时的那点基础,到底是不是一个明智的选择。来美后,虽然也有困难,主要是英语问题,但是这些困难和成立一个新家庭的喜悦相比,都不是问题。尤其是看到我先生和我女儿一起玩,逗得她哈哈大笑,我觉得一切都是那么美好。

最近我们在申请条件绿卡了,仍然和当初申请签证一样,各种的填表。但是我们已经在一起了,这些都可以慢慢去完成。我目前的计划就是学车学英语。

衷心希望在chinalovematch寻找异国情缘的姐妹,尤其是单身妈妈,能够遇上欣赏自己,疼爱自己的爱人。

The Girl in the Moose HoodieIn the beginning of July 2013, my daughter, on a whim created an account for me on an international dating site.  She knew that I was always interested in dating women from other cultures and thought it would be fun for me.  I looked into the site, but started to have a feeling that it was not a well run site, but my curiosity had been peaked.  I went online and researched what was considered the most legitimate site for international dating and heard from three different locations that it was ChinaLoveMatch.net/AsianLoveMatch.net.   In the first week of August 2013 I created an account on the site, and to my surprise my daughter became very excited at my interest in it and proceeded to help me make very clear what it was I wanted from this and what I was looking for.  She also later that evening got onto my account and “chose” five women she thought I should write too.  She sent them a “kiss” which is a premade, on the site, message that informs a person you are interested in them, and then told me after the fact.  I was a little bemused at her until I saw her choices and was informed that” I have to write the girl in the moose hoodie.”   

On August 8th 2013 I wrote SongHui (Jessica) Zhang for the first time and I was immediately impressed with her.  She was beautiful, smart, funny, and her comprehension of English was very high, she spoke well, and could hold her own in a conversation.  When you throw in that she had a beautiful little cheerful monkey of a daughter I was hooked.   I found myself writing her twice and day and looking forward to every reply.   By the 20th we were trying to Skype each other twice a day and were now using my Yahoo mail account, and her QQ account for email.  I stayed with the dating site for a while longer, but quickly found that I was not really interested in it anymore since Jessica was not there and let my membership slip.  We continued emailing and Skyping until the end of October when I suddenly found myself asking her if she would like to come and visit the US, and experience Thanksgiving.  I immediately felt embarrassed asking her that since I realized that I had just asked a girl from the other side of the planet to come to a foreign country to meet a person and his family she hardly knew.  To my surprise she said yes, and was also surprised at just how relieved I felt.  I did not realize that I was really hoping she would say yes.  After that we talked about how both of us had felt the same way about the question and both of us were relieved that the trip was going to happen.   My only disappointment was that her little girl, Ashley, could not come with her.


I booked tickets on October 21st 2013 and then began a lot of additional emails and Skype sessions with Jessica asking me what she should pack, and making it clear that she would bring gifts despite my assertions that she did not need to.  The month crawled by and I found myself getting more and more anxious about her meeting me and being disappointed.  This was new feeling to me since I have always been very care free about meeting people and it surprised me.   When she arrived at Tulsa International Airport on November 22nd I was trying my best to maintain my calm, while my daughter was so excited that she was practically bouncing up and down.   We had to wait and additional hour due to a flight delay and that only made it even worse, when I finally saw her coming down to the security gate I could barely breathe.  Her beauty floored me and I found myself lost in her eyes and smile.  I could not tear my eyes away!  I was constantly apologizing to her for staring, and she would just blush and smile.  The next week flew by as she met my family and when I was not at work I would try to take her and show her places in Oklahoma.  I had a great time and she seemed to really enjoy herself.  My family was very impressed with her poise, dignity, and ability in English.  She happily helped with the preparations for Thanksgiving without being asked, and enjoyed the time she spent with my family while I was at work.  I felt as if all was right in my world and that I could not ask for more.

When it came time for her to leave I was again surprised by my emotions.  I really and truly dreaded it!  When I gave her a hug to as she went through the security gate she started to cry and I was immediately wanted to do whatever I could to make her stop since it was a crime for such a beautiful creature to be so sad.  After she left the drive home was painful and the world seemed lifeless.  I have never before in my life, except at the birth of my daughter, felt such strong emotions for a woman.   I could not stop thinking of her, I felt as if I were a 15 year old boy falling in love for the first time.  I waited anxiously to hear that she had made it home OK, and while relieved was saddened that she was now so far away.  It took over a month to start feeling somewhat “normal” and able to have fun like I would before.  For  days though, I felt sadness and loss when we would get off the phone or close the Skype connection.  I forced myself to not make any decisions about our relationship because I was clearly so affected by her.   I waited for two weeks before I seriously started asking my family and friends what their opinions of her were.   The feedback I received was all positive and I even started being teased about how soon till my “mail order Bride” arrived.  Despite this I was still worried that I was just seeing her through “rose tinted glasses” because I could find no fault in her other than where she lived.  I felt so strongly for her and could see nothing wrong that it convinced me that something had to be wrong.   Then, on the night of Christmas Eve, she and I were talking about children and she said to the effect that if we got together and had kids we should teach them certain things.  I responded without thinking that “yes, we would raise our children that way.” That is when I realized that which I subconsciously knew and was just in denial of.  I had already decided that she was the one for me and that no other would ever do.  Right then and there, even though it was just a chat box, I told her that I wanted her to marry me.  The next minute while I awaited a response felt as if a lifetime had passed.  When she said yes I cried and yelled with joy and then laughed at myself for my silliness.


Mom and Dad Welcome New Daughter and GrandDaughter

My family was very supportive and happy for me which removed any remaining doubts I might have had.   Jessica would call me every morning, acting as my alarm clock and reminding me of what I would have to do that day and of how her day went.  I would Skype her every night telling her of my day, whether she slept well, and then tell her my plans for the next day so she can call me.  We started work on the immigration forms and tried to help each other as best we could.  I looked forward to seeing her again and finally meeting Ashley.   On October 28th 2014 the approval letter finally came and it was with great hope that I could have them in the US for Christmas, but it was for naught since we were only half-way through the process.  Finally after Medical exams, interviews with the US Embassy, more approvals and interviews she finally got the Visas.  The final hurdle was getting the HR department for her job to actually let her quit and it seemed to take forever.  It was about all I could stand when she got approval for that and I was able to buy the plane tickets.  After over 500 emails, hundreds of calls, hours of Skype, a small forest killed in paper work, and a mountain of bureaucracy, they arrived on my birthday June 26th 2015 as the best present ever. 

It has been a whirlwind of adventure since they arrived.  In a weird event of timing they came right after I had to move closer to my 87 year old parents to take care of them, half my family moved out of state, then finish a three week training period with the National Guard, quit my old job, and plan drives to Indianapolis, Albuquerque, San Diego, and the cabin in Colorado.  They pretty much got off the plane and walked into a whirlwind.  Neither of us really wanted a wedding, but my family would not have any of that.  On July 17th they flew in from all over and threw together a wedding for us that felt like it had been planned for years not days.  Immediately after that we were on the road to see my brother and best friend in Indy and go to GENCON.  From there it was then straight up to Colorado with my old Marine Dad to drive them to San Diego to see the graduation of my Nephew from MCRD San Diego boot camp and back to Colorado to take a little break.   Now we are back in Oklahoma and finally trying to find out what a ‘normal’ life will be like.  The poor girls have seen more of the United States in two months than most Americans see in their life!  We now have pictures with “Geek Cred” at GENCON, the south western deserts, the Pacific Ocean, the Grand Canyon, the San Juan Rockies, and even plains of Oklahoma.  They are both worn out and ready to go to School (Ashley) or continue the paperwork to become a US Citizen (Jessica).  The amazing thing is that the adventure has just started!  Every day I learn some new amazing thing about my Beautiful Wife and Daughter, be it the amazing artistic skill of a bouncing, laughing little monkey girl, or even if it just the staggering depths of patience with me that my wife has!   I feel we are both very determined to make this work and my father is proud to call Jessica “daughter” and Ashley has become the favorite grandchild of my mother.   Every night we try to create new meals combining both US and Chinese recipes and then make my parents be the taste testers.  So far results have been “really good” and “very tasty.”

I really have nothing but high praise for ChinaLoveMatch.net and there are only a few things I would tell people who are using this site.  Read the articles put out by the people on this site who have done this, they know what they are talking about.  Be patient.  The process is really slow.  It seems unnecessarily slow, but it does move forward.  Use the time to get to know one another better.  Both of you START SAVING MONEY!  There are a lot of fees that have to be paid for.  Processing fees, Medical exams, train tickets to interviews, plane tickets, and then once married and in the US you basically have to start all over again to change the immigration status.  Do not be afraid to ask questions and consider hiring a good immigration lawyer if time is important to you.  While it is a large additional cost it does speed the process quite a bit.  There is also the benefit of actually having someone doing the paperwork who actually understands the ‘legalese” instructions.  You cannot go to Immigration for help.  They are not allowed to look at your paperwork since they make rulings on them.  You can only ask them specific question.  Did I mention “be patient?”  Finally, relax and have fun together.  Look at the cultural differences that you have to learn for what they are, an adventure that you get to share with someone special who is going through the exact same thing, just a different angle.  Every day I wake up and look at my family and smile knowing that something unusual is going to happen and that we are going to love it!

Happy new Mother, Daughter, new Daughter and Sister
Happy Mother and Daughter with new Husband and Father
Happy Dog with New Sister
Happy new Wife and Mom in her new Country

Best Wishes/Comments
Judyxie 9/20/2016 3:00:08 PM @Judyxie
Congratulation for your couple. I was moved a lot by your love story, tears rolled down my face. Best regards for you. Happy forever.
millerandreas077 8/25/2016 11:24:20 AM @millerandreas077
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sharonshi 3/16/2016 4:42:09 PM @sharonshi
@zhangsonghui @USMCbandito73 Congratulations! Touched by you guys's smiling faces! What a cute girl lying on a cozy bed with a lovely pet dog! An encouraging story! Thank you very much for sharing!
kaixin69 12/30/2015 10:40:08 AM @kaixin69
祝福你们永远幸福!
lyndaya 10/29/2015 1:13:33 AM @lyndaya
congratulation~!I am also single living with my daughter,Hard and survived.I hope I can be lucky like you ,find soulmate ,and a nice man
prettyna 10/16/2015 7:24:04 PM @prettyna
Good lucky
liumm123 9/29/2015 1:44:25 PM @liumm123
好幸福啊
laraine 9/24/2015 8:47:54 PM @laraine
衷心祝福你们
Nekko 9/23/2015 12:53:39 PM @Nekko
@zhangsonghui , @ USMCbandito73 Congratulations to you both. Whishing you the very best for your future together. Thank you for writing this fascinating story. Always interested and enjoy other peoples success and happiness in finding a partner on this great site. I did too. All the best, Nekko
yien 9/18/2015 8:58:33 PM @yien
祝福,非常幸福的一家人,愿天下有情人终成眷属......
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