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Dating Chinese Women - Profile Tips For Better Communication by Major Carlos Carter
If I was to communicate with a Chinese woman, I would find out about her culture, and her personality through her profile.  Her profile would have to be informative enough to interest me and have a sense of mystery because she does not reveal all her dirty laundry online.  Her profile would tell a likely story and a fairly accurate one, but not necessarily all forthcoming.  Her profile would have enough pictures to lead me to believe this is a real person.  I usually do not even consider women with no pictures or one picture.  The farther distance you are from me, the more pictures I need to be convinced you are a real person.  If the woman’s profile says something about an addiction, I usually move on.  If her profile says something about being separated, I move on because you are still married.  If her profile says that she is looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Perfect, I move on because I am looking for someone who is looking for someone healthy for them and vice versa.  The older you are online without being married at least once, the more information I need subtly implied online.  If you are gorgeous, never married, and older than 35, I assume you have marriage phobia, an actual ailment, and I move on.  Men are looking for real women to love them, not trophies to put on their shelf to adulate.

If I think you are not a real person, I run your pictures through a picture checking website that tells me where the pictures came from online.  I did this to several women I met online and found out their pictures were on scam warning sites as well.  I have also Googled their descriptions of where they are from, and found the websites they were lifted from.  Most of the scamming women say lots of nice things carefully put together to sound as if a foreigner wrote it to sound cute and legitimate.  The ones I have found have usually lost their father a few years ago or had some unsettling financial loss, and need some kind of rescue.  I even had one make up a translation bureau that wrote on her behalf claiming that she did not have money to have my e-mails translated and to send the money to the translation bureau.  If I like you and you cannot afford to pay for translations, I will find a person on my end to translate my important e-mails to you.  When a man is in love, he will move mountains to get to you.  But he won’t lose his head over it. 

Successful online Chinese dating starts with a great profile. I am assuming that you are now at the point of starting communications with some Chinese women.  You have formulated a well-written profile that depicts you in a positive way.  By positive way, I mean, you show a good picture without too many details.  You have a sense of mystery about your profile, but you evoke attractiveness to women.  Your profile says that I love myself and others, now I seek a partner ready to make the world a better place.  If you are struggling to support yourself, do not look for someone else to support.  Look for someone to support you.  In reality though, Chinese women (women in general) want someone with stability and security.  Meaning, you have a career, goals, and a plan for future success.  These things should be implied on your profile.

For your pictures, avoid identifying your license plate, your house number, place where you work, your Facebook account to ensure you are not easily identifiable, and do not put your company e-mail in your profile.  All these things can be used to find you by a stalker.  Do not put your kids pictures in your profile either, you do not want people knowing what your kids look like before you actually trust them, hopefully have met them in person, have run a background check on them, etc. 

Now that your profile is ready, communicating with Chinese women should feel as natural as possible.  This means that you should have good knowledge of the culture of China and how Chinese women communicate and think.  When beginning communication avoid humor if you are not familiar with Chinese humor.  If you are divorced or had a terrible breakup, do not talk about how horrible she was to you, you chose her for a reason.  Rather emphasize you learned through the relationship, take some responsibility for the breakup, and explain you are ready to move on, not desperate to move on because she married your best friend and you want to get even.  Avoid talking about your exes (girlfriends, wife) unless it adds to the conversation and puts you in a good light.  On the first month of e-mailing do not even bother mentioning ex relationships.  Ask her questions, yet say enough about yourself to keep her interested (tit for tat).  If your e-mail is long, try attaching MS Word document or text file, just remember not to send a virus with the attachment, so check your computer for viruses before attaching anything.  If you crashed her computer, she will definitely remember you in a negative way.  If you send pictures, make sure you do not have yours arms wrapped around another woman even if she is not as pretty.  Also do not send pictures of you doing unsafe things such as riding a motorcycle without a helmet, drinking to excess, or texting while driving.

Also remember in China, religion and politics are generally still matters that might attract the interest of government officials. While Christianity and other religions are no longer persecuted or taboo in China, there is no need to attract undue interest to the lady by dwelling on these subjects in your messages. So whatever you write to her, focus on her and not government related or religious issues. Especially if you work for the US government, you do not want to be a person of interest in China before you visit her.

Next time, we will visit questions to ask in order to get the information you want without offending or pushing too soon. 

Major Carlos CarterMajor Carlos Carter is a retired Major from the United States Aremd Forces and is currently residing in Mizuho, Tokyo, Japan where he is pursuing a third bachelor's in Management Studies. He will graduate in May 2012. He has submitted articles to the Austin Chronicle and military base newspapers.  His hobbies include bicycling, the Latin American Club, and inspiring others through his poetry and writings. Carlos is interested in finding a Chinese woman as a lifemate, is a member (username: karlcart) of and is interested in writing as a contributing author for CLM eMagazine.

From: Original         Author: Major Carlos Carter         Time: 4/7/2012 10:02:54 PM

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#2012-04-29 15:03:00 by Anonymous140674 @Anonymous140674
i found this helpful, and what to be paranoid about saying !
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To respond to another member's comment type @ followed by their name before your comment, like this: @username Then leave a space.