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Dating Chinese Women in China: Valentine’s Day Arrives and Chaos Ensues by John Abbot

Valentine’s Day is upon us, so we are posting here a video we made some time ago for your enjoyment. This was actually made for Chinese Valentine’s Day which falls in August, but since our Valentine’s Day is now celebrated in China as much as it is anywhere else in the world, we thought we’d give you a look at it here. It will, among other things, show you some of the amazing women we had as members on CLM at the time of  the other Valentine's Day in China a few years ago. With this video we wish everyone a truly love and romance filled Vday with the partner of their dreams. Of course we also wish you will like it and share it with your single friends to entice them to come and join CLM!

Now, here is the video I mentioned. We hope you like it, and if you do, then please, Tweet it on your twitter account or Like it on your Facebook account of give it a big G+ on your Google account or just share it in some other way. 

Having said that, we also wish to warn some of you, the ones who ordered flowers for your Chinese ladies in the last 12 hours or so, or especially for those just ordering now, that it is possible that disaster is just around the corner. Here’s why.

Whether you’re doing it online from the comfort of your own home halfway around the world, or you’re doing it upfront and face on, dating Chinese women in China is always intriguing, usually intoxicating, frequently highly rewarding and satisfying but occasionally, just occasionally, exasperating or even downright depressing.  Sometimes this latter result is due to the nature of China, sometimes due to the nature of some, if not all, Chinese women, and sometimes it is due to a combination of both.

In recent years Valentine’s Day has become an event that creates the ideal situation in which western men (and Chinese men too) will go out of their way to demonstrate their love for their special Chinese lady, and, if successful, might well lock their true love’s heart to their own for life. For example, if the relationship is going swimmingly well already, and a beautiful bouquet of roses arrives in the lady’s office, to be admired by all her envious co-workers, during the day of Valentine’s itself (not early and definitely not late) that event is likely just the thing required to melt that last little part of her heart that was slightly resistant to closing the deal. Likewise if the floral expression of love arrives in her home for all her family to admire excitedly on the anointed day.

On the other hand, if those same roses were to arrive in her office or home the day after Valentine’s Day, or God forbid, 2 days later, then for some unfortunate and totally unsuspecting Western male, unless his beloved woman of China is the understanding kind, then an explosion akin to that of a small atomic bomb is about to render his romantic dreamworld a nuclear wasteland.  If he is the naïve and spoiled type of Westerner who makes the unthinking mistake of assuming that if flowers are ordered late the day before Vday China time, or on Vday itself, they will automatically arrive to his love’s expectant arms on Vday itself, he is likely to receive a rude awakening.

The problem starts with the late ordering of the flowers. Valentine’s Day flower delivery in China is absolute chaos unbridled.  Those of us from Western countries really can’t imagine how many gazillion flowers orders there suddenly are and how few flowers shops there are to make the delivery. Picture 1.3 billion people with perhaps 10% of the flower shops there are in the USA. This is not as much of an issue on normal days, but on major holidays, and some special occasions that China is now adopting from the West, such as Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day, the orders very simply can’t possibly be met.

The problem is then compounded by the fact that once ordered the flowers are then being delivered by the most bizarre modes of transportation you can imagine, ranging from young men running at top speed, to bicycles, to 3 wheeled cycles (both with and without motors) to small cars to vans or delivery trucks. If you wander into a florist’s shop during Valentine’s Day and attempt to place an order for delivery, you are placing your life at risk, so high is the level of tension the poor florist is under. I would say that this years the chances of an order, made any time after early morning of February 13th China time, being delivered on or before Vday is about 50/50.

The problem then has the potential to go nuclear if the sender’s Chinese love is not a very open and understanding type.  She has to be someone who has a pretty thick skin but also a kind and forgiving soul, because when the flowers arrive late she will, in at least some instances, be subject to a considerable loss of face, sometimes real and sometimes imagined. For example, undoubtedly some of her colleagues and/or some of her family (if not everyone) have been questioning her for dating a Western man, some have perhaps even ridiculed her for it.  Now the flowers arriving late will be held up to her as unquestionable evidence that her man doesn’t really care for her at best and that he is a rude, obnoxious unworthy lowlife at worst.

For some Chinese women this reaction she will suffer is a harsh reality resulting from the people in her life being somewhat unsophisticated, exceedingly narrow minded and possibly actually envious of her, and obviously they have the added trait of lacking much of a heart. For other Chinese women the pain they feel is simply a self-inflicted wound, being brought on by their own wild imaginations and false pride. Either way, unless she is prepared to put aside her hurt feelings the result may be somewhat catastrophic for the man who truly only meant the best for his newfound Chinese love.

There was a time when we posted warnings about this all over our Flower Shop, and in the Forum or on the website, but no one ever seemed to pay the least bit if attention, so we stopped doing that. Instead we just patiently listen to the pleas for help, the cries of innocence and the occasional accusation that we are to blame, all being voiced by wounded, frustrated and usually completely baffled Western men who placed flower orders way too late for us to get them delivered.

Our guess is that this year will be no different, but as always we hope it will change. According to Einstein at least, that makes us insane. However, we do promise that we will listen patiently to your sad story, sympathize genuinely over your pain, apologize half-heartedly for our failure to deliver and earnestly do our best to appease the angry lady and help keep your relationship on track. That is all we can promise.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. May your hearts be filled with joy on this day of love! 

From: Original         Author: John Abbot         Time: 2/13/2015 9:14:37 PM

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