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Ode To Relationships (And Perhaps To My Soon To Be Chinese Lady) by Major Carlos Carter
I choose to love rather than to be loved
I choose to be kind
I choose to be respectful
 
I choose to be considerate in my relationships
I love others so they know it is about peace with them
I choose to honor others even if they do not honor me
 
I choose to inspire others so I am inspired by their actions
I choose to love despite not being loved
I choose to think of you more than me
 
I choose to be more than what others think of me
I choose to surprise others by simple acts of kindness
Most of all I choose to live at peace with all men
As is in my power to do so
 
Thus I choose to love people and meet them where they are at
I choose to live rather than exist because
I choose to be more than myself
 
To be lovable and to be capable of loving another, including a wonderful Chinese woman, you must first love yourself. I wrote this late February 2012.  I kept thinking how stressful looking for someone can become.  As the man, I have to learn to take rejection at a young age.  The man should take the lead in a relationship.  It does not mean he does everything to keep her love.  It means that he is charge of moving the relationship from dating to engagement to marriage.  A man should never be pushed into a relationship or manipulated.  Yet, a Chinese woman should set her boundaries with him and communicate what she needs from him, and not just what she wants. 
 
Dating online is hard.  Most men fall in love with someone they can smell, hear, and see preferably in person.  Unless you have an arranged marriage, you will have to have good observers around you to let you know if there are warning signs in your relationship.  People who can tell you things not to scare you into becoming marriage phobic (a real phobia), but to get you to think how to be better together. 
 
When engaged, pre-marital is a must.  You definitely have to consider their family.  If the family is against it, do not get married.  Because once you are married, they will be looking for any sign to insist on bailing out of the marriage.  The blessing of the family is very important; for they can provide good advice and assistance when the marriage is going through rough patches.
 
Marriage should be the subject of greater thought and effort than buying a new car or new house or getting another degree.  Yet, no matter how much effort we put into it, it pales in importance compared to the love between the partners.
 
Everyone wants to know what love is.  Love has its beginning in loving oneself, he loving himself, she loving herself, and then bringing their loves together so that it makes both of them better and betters those around them as well.
 
I am looking for love again or maybe for the first time.  I guess it depends on your perspective.  But love starts with me, and thus I stand in love.  Therefore, happy I can be despite my being single.
 
Good fortune comes to those who seek to love rather than being loved.


Major Carlos Carter is a retired Major from the United States Aremd Forces and is currently residing in Mizuho, Tokyo, Japan where he is pursuing a third bachelor's in Management Studies. He will graduate in May 2012. He has submitted articles to the Austin Chronicle and military base newspapers.  His hobbies include bicycling, the Latin American Club, and inspiring others through his poetry and writings. Carlos is interested in finding a Chinese woman as a lifemate, is a member (username: karlcart) of ChinaLoveMatch.net and is interested in writing as a contributing author for CLM eMagazine.


From: Original         Author: Major Carlos Carter         Time: 4/1/2012 4:04:24 PM

 
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