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Online Dating Tips: You've Found Your Perfect Chinese Woman, Now What? by John Abbot

This article is the first of a series in response to a letter from a long standing member who has become a good friend of We thank him for his letter and apologize for taking so long in responding. CLM is growing so fast we are truly having trouble keeping up.

You've taken the giant step of joining an Online Dating Website to pursue your dream of finding your Chinese or Asian soulmate. You've spent a lot of time and effort meeting, messaging and chatting with all number of potential mates, good and bad, and now you've found her. You're sure she's the one, and she feels the same way about you. Now what do you do?

Let's See, I Get To China For The Olympics How????

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1. It's time to get together, but where?

Unless your gal has already travelled to a major first world country, and if you are from such a country, you can almost bet that you are going to have to come to China for that first meeting. If you're from the USA, Canada, Australia, the UK and even the EU, you are going to have a very difficult time arranging a visitors visa in order for her to come to see you. But for several reasons, even if you could have her come to see you, I highly recommend that you go to China for that all important first meeting.

Whether you go to China or she comes to you, you are likely going to have to pay the lion's share of the costs, because she likely doesn't have the resources you have, even if you're just an average Joe. Very few Chinese women have "travel the world" kind of money.

So, if you have to pay anyway, then come and see China, soak in the culture, meet her whole family, see if this is a place you really wish to be your home away from home, because that is what it is going to be if things work out between you. And if she isn't the one, you'll now at least know if you really do wish to pursue a Chinese woman for your lifemate.

On the other hand, if she's everything you hoped for, you love her family and you enjoy China, then you're on your way to comfortably becoming a 2 country man.

2. Now you've decided you're headed for China, how do you get there?

Getting to China from anywhere in the 1st world is not difficult, and usually surprisingly inexpensive if you plan ahead and look for bargains. Please read another recent article in CLM eMagazine entitled "Travel to China: You Can Get There From Here No Problem" by Rodney Gair. It is about travel from North America to China, but travel from Europe or Oceana is even easier, so its helpful for everyone.

One Note of Warning: right now travel to China is a little more difficult because of the Olympics. you can get here and you can get a visa, but not as easily as usual, and probably not as cheaply. Plus, once you arrive this summer everything is likely going to be overcrowded, disorderly and twice the normal cost, so if you can wait we highly recommend that you plan to travel in October or later.

3. You've come, you've seen, and you've conquered.

She's perfect, China's great and the family and you hit it off beautifully. So now, hand in hand, you're gong to return home and see how she likes it there - NOT! You will eventually get her a visa to visit your home country, but you will not get it quickly and not easily. And do not make the mistake of thinking that if you marry her it will be easier, because it won't be.

Getting that visa calls for a long article in itself, and we will provide one in the near future, but for now suffice it to say that getting her home, especially if you are from the USA, Canada or Australia, is an exercise in frustration. The only good thing I will say here is that once you get her home, and you experience the joy of seeing your own country through her eyes, it will all be well worth the effort.

4. Okay, I can't get her home quickly, now what?

If you're made of money, or comfortably retired, you can move to China and wait it out. You can pick up a condo here for less than back home, you can live here for less than back home, and you can explore here for less than back home. You and your new love can see lots of China, get to really know each other, and work on that visa that will take about 6 to 18 months before she can accompany you back home.

At present most countries have what is called a "Fiance Visa" and that usually is the most sensible one and easiest one to obtain. The point of the fiance visa is that you intend to go back home and test the waters, and if all goes well you will marry and she will convert to full landed immigrant status.

If, like most people, you are a normally employed guy, you will have to head home and work on it from there. Settle in for a "long distance relationship" that involves a lot of phone calls (book SKYPE for both of you, it's a real blessing), a lot of email, and a lot of missing each other.

Many people can't cut a long distance relationship, but personally I highly recommend them. There is something to getting together after all that yearning that adds to the sweetness of it. On the other hand, maybe that is something akin to hitting yourself over the head with a hammer because it feels so good to quit.     

In conclusion, I suggest to you that you don't treat your quest for a beautiful Asian or Chinese woman as a romp on the internet. Treat it as the beginning of a lifelong adventure. If you succeed in finding your lifemate on your Asian or Chinese online dating website your life will never be the same again. I've gotten more out of my last 6 years of life than out of the first 48, and you will too. No matter what happens if you put your heart into it, soak it all in, and make the most of it, you'll never look back. And you'll never regret it, but keep your eyes wide open for the potential pitfalls along the way.

From: Original         Author: John Abbot         Time: 3/5/2010 3:46:37 PM

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