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The Search Begins by JulesE
When I began responding to the kisses and the messages from these beautiful women, I was filled with energy and drive. I was possessed with the ability to stay on top of the wave of interest. It did not take long for reality to hit. I was getting confused and did not realize it. I was responding to some women with the profiles and comments of others. I was like kid in a candy store. I had to step back and take a long look at what I was doing and how I was impacting the lives of these women. I had lost sight of their feelings. These were people that I was dealing with, not just pictures with profiles. Once I came to my senses I slowed down a bit. I had three or four ladies from whom I had received numerous messages and kisses and I was attempting to keep them straight in my mind. One in particular kept coming into focus. I will call her Mistake #1.
 
Mistake #1 was persistent. She spoke a little English and it was not long before we exchanged phone numbers. We were texting each other daily and my time was becoming consumed with her first and my work second. This woman was beautiful and very sexy. She was exactly who I was looking for in a wife. I still continued to get messages from other women and respond to them. I could not stop.   This was one of the first of the many confusing parts of this process. I thought I had found the possible woman of my dreams and I could not stop checking my inbox every morning.   I was addicted to the ego rush. Kicking heroin would have been easier. More and more Mistake #1 and I connected. It seemed that she was always one step ahead of me, setting the hook. Then one day it happened. She said “baby I am going to change my profile and remove my pictures from the CLM site.”
 
I really didn’t think much about it at first. I said to her; “if that is what you want to do baby, I don’t mind.” She explained that she did not want to talk to anyone except me and that she would like me to have her password. She stated that she wanted me to change her profile and remove her pictures. My ego said to me, “this woman really thinks you’re hot, she is giving herself to you, go for it.” I told her; “okay here is my password you change mine.” I heard a loud scream from deep inside my psyche. It was calling me every name in the book, I didn’t listen. The ego was in control and it loved the attention and perceived power. I never did go to Mistake #1’s site and change her profile, I told her to do it for me. I felt more in control that way, more above it all. I had no idea what I had done, nor did I know what was about to happen.
 
The following day I was helping my brother-in-law build a deck. It was hot out and I had my shirt off and my cell phone sitting on his porch. We took a beer break and I checked my cell. I could not believe my eyes. I was looking at messages from an insane Chinese woman. I was being threatened and accused in broken English. The broken sentience structure made it difficult to understand. I was able to get enough of it to realize that something was way wrong. I immediately went into damage control. This is not easy to do when you have no idea what you are trying to correct. The combination of anger, insanity, language confusion and cultural differences all came into play in one bizarre moment. Texting didn’t help; it could not get past her rage.   I just had to take it until I got to my computer, logged onto CLM and entered the chat room.
 
 Take Cover, Incoming Angry Chinese Woman
Head for Cover, Incoming Angry Chinese Woman
 
Thank God for the translation device. I finally calmed her down by apologizing for something I did not do. Here is the problem, she had my password and she was looking at my chat history. She was getting the dates confused and was accusing me of chatting with women after we had made the pledge to only chat with each other. The thing that made it so bad was that she had it in her mind that we had committed to one another about three or four days before we actually had. This is part of the confusion in dealing with these women. I was not careful with my words. I am a flirt and this had been confused with words meaning love to Mistake #1. It took a lot of talking and apologizing to smooth things over, but I did it. But it continued to happen.
 
The following day another long fight took place and more apologizing for my innocence was necessary. We began to fight daily. Then she changed my profile even more to make it look like I was some kind of freak. Then I contacted CLM staff and requested help. I was sinking and they were my only lifeline. I still thank God each night for them. They ended the insanity, they changed my password.   I received Sage advice from one of the senior members, “NEVER GIVE OUT YOUR PASSWORD.” When Mistake #1 found out the password had changed, the rage intensified. Now her anger prevented her from producing readable text messages. She was now calling me on the phone at all hours of the night. It was horrible and it had to end. It finally did end and it broke both our hearts. It is amazing how much feelings can be produced dating on line. This is a new experience for me; I had no idea how easy it is to become attached to these women. They are so beautiful and sensuous it is like drowning and not caring as you go down. I thought I had learned the most valuable lesson in my life.
 
It was during these days of Mistake #1 that I had decided to go to China. I had made my flight reservations and had intended to spend three weeks of bliss with my future wife. Mistake #1 had changed, she had changed into someone I did not recognize. Someone filled with jealously and rage. I was not going to let this experience prevent me from visiting China. Now I was pressed for time. I had to find a suitable prospect in three weeks. I was unsure if I should focus on one woman or try to carpet bomb. Each had their advantages and disadvantages. I thought I should again go to the Oracle. To that Sage advice that had proved itself before. I e-mailed CLM.


From: Original         Author: JulesE         Time: 3/5/2010 4:10:44 PM

 
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#2012-04-05 04:34:00 by EddieG @EddieG
Reply You've got a mess Dude...LOL...
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