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The Wildest, Most Bizarre Scammer Story Yet by John Abbot
I write this with special thanks to Scammer “schmist9090” for providing such an amusing distraction from my daily workday. We have just recently received a report that included the recent message received from the Scammer by one of his intended victims. It is truly one of the most imaginative, bizarre scenarios that has been set up by the Scammer, probably the most bizarre we’ve yet encountered. When our employee got up off the floor from rolling around laughing, he forwarded it straight to me. And we wanted to share it with all of you.

Here then is the last panicked message from “schmist9090” to his intended victim, one of many current “loves of his life”, as the Sea Pirates bore down on him!
The person in the photo is probably not the scammer and is a likely victim of identity theft.“Hello Honey everything is NOT Ok,I am so happy for the love and care you have shown to me,I swear i think of you from my heart,i have not been able to email you because of the problem on the high sea,My dear the situation here is getting worst and we've done all we could to put the brain box of the ship in order but to no avail,nothing is working out,beside we just received information from the Signal house that there are sea pirates from India blocking the sea.They are about 312 KM away from us and the nearest place for this Ship to anchor is Labuan Island some where in East Malaysia As it is now, we are no longer safe because we fear the pirates attack because the ship is very slow now. We have called for a rescue team but we are yet to get a response from our headquarters, The captains of the Ship have announced that all passengers should offload their goods for another means of transportation as the SHIP will duck here for another 23 days until its safe to continue sailing. Honey my problem now is all my earn time savings is with me here in the ship it is (234,000GBP) Two Hundred and Thirty Four Thousand Great British pounds which I kept in my cabin safe box. I do not want it stolen from me in the event of any attack.My plan was to use this money to buy Metal oil in drums in Australia and supply to a company in Mexico I already had contract agreement with also planing to start a new life,when i retire immediately after this sail. I have discussed with one of the security company here.They will proceed delivery immediately I get a confirmation from you to assist me in receiving this money because there is no bank here and i don,t want to loose the money to sea pirates because i know how i suffered for it. Honey,as the Director of Operation in this Ship, it’s not possible for me to move along with the passenger because I have to take care of this ship until all GOODS/PRODUCT are completely discharged. Now there are so many security company stands at the sea shore and I am thinking of what to do?and at this time I need you to stand by me .I don't know what to do now ; I want to quickly send you the money so that you can help me to secure it in your place or into your Bank account until I have the chance to make my trip and meet you soonest.I know we have not met each other but I TRUST you and give you my whole heart so that life can move straight with us and i know you will never disappoint or hurt me because we are already two in one flesh .I have learned to take life as it happens as I remember everything happens for a reason,i just can wait to get off of this issue and be with you soon in china. Please quickly forward to me your information as follows to enable me send the money to you immediately through Diplomatic Secured Security Organization:- Your Full Name: Your Receiving Address(home address): your Mobile number Dear please be fast about it Honey this is very urgent. I am sitting by the sea shore now and waiting for your quickly reply.Please I need your prayers this time because we are in a state of confusion praying that nothing happens to us.i miss you so much my dear. in pains and worries Your Darling.”
There are many things that come to mind when you read such a pack of crap that you know is designed to help the writer steal money from an innocent woman that only wishes to find true love. The usual feelings I have are disgust, contempt, anger, even hatred of the Scammer for being such a corrupted, nasty, evil person.

But in this case my immediate feelings were different than usual, because what I felt here was astonishment first at the imagination of the writer in him, and then pity for what an incredible loser he must be to put so much time into such imaginative scenarios just to try to pry a few dollars from the fingers of some unfortunate soul who was unlucky enough to have encountered him, and finally to a different contempt, not for his evil nature but for his laziness, that he would waste an obvious talent on scamming people one at a time when he clearly has the capacity to entertain them by the thousands.

So “schmist9090”, I say to you, why don’t you take your obvious talent and use it to write great adventure books that could entertain thousands, even millions, of admiring fans instead of writing scam messages intended to earn you a portion of a few peoples’ savings and that surely will earn you only contempt and disgust from everyone you encounter?  Is it just a little too much work for you?

If nothing else, when considering this question, please take some time to look at yourself and try to get a clear picture of who you are.  Because at the moment you are clearly nothing more than a slimy, pathetic waste of human life… but deep inside you it seems there may be a small light shining, and hope for you yet.

From: Original         Author: John Abbot         Time: 1/15/2014 3:48:10 AM

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#2014-01-20 01:27:00 by Barry1 @Barry1
Reply "My plan was to use this money (234 thousand pounds) to buy Metal oil in drums in Australia and supply to a company in Mexico"

In case this imaginative scammer reads this before the pirates nab him, if he sends his money to me, I will make sure it is kept safe. I will also agree to help him purchase the "metal oil in drums" (whatever that is), so he can then onforward it to Mexico.

Please contact me via this website, dear scammer. I will be happy to assist you in whatever manner you may require.
#2014-01-21 15:44:00 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot
Reply @Barry1 - after getting up from rolling on the ground laughing, and dusting myself off, I realized how dumb I feel for completely missing out on the great plan you came up with on how we might finally make some real bread from one of these Scammers.

This comment was a lot of fun Barry1. Bravo!
#2014-01-22 01:59:00 by JeanGagnon @JeanGagnon
Reply Dear schmist9090,
Please use my services as my fees will be way lower than Barry. And please let me know a way to communicate with you as I want to have fun too! I'm good at stories too so maybe we can exchange ideas.
Take care and I'm looking forward to our dramatic exchanges.
#2014-08-20 02:56:00 by GuyPen @GuyPen
Reply Yeah it was funny to read. Apparently this ding dong meant to say "oil in metal drums". If I had the cash and ability to do this, I would set up a dummy account for this ding dong, so when he downloads the "information" instead he is downloading a virus that crashes their complete network. Is it illegal? Don't care. Is it morally right? To me it is.

But then again, I am also on this website and others to make sure I do not get scammed.

Thanks for the laugh and the vent.
#2016-05-30 00:02:00 by SAMTEN @SAMTEN
Reply Sounds like typical scam from AFRICA
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To respond to another member's comment type @ followed by their name before your comment, like this: @username Then leave a space.