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Those Inscrutable Chinese Women by Staff Writer
A few days ago an Indian friend recommended to me a book by Anurag Mathur very interestingly titled ‘The Inscrutable Americans’. While the title is quite popular in India and my friend could not help gushing about it, the fact remains that I was not impressed at all simply because as an American, I don’t think we are a mystery. What amuses me, however, is the idea that inscrutability of a community or nation is actually born out of our lack of knowledge and understanding of them.  For instance, Chinese people for long have been regarded as ‘inscrutable’ or worse devious by most westerners interacting with them on Chinese dating sites. However, the key to understand Chinese women, society in general, their reverence for authority and hierarchy is Confucianism.

Western society propagates Individualism - people are encouraged to express their personalities, individual ideas and opinions which is great except that it often leads to chaos. On the other hand, in Chinese culture, collectivism reigns supreme.  Here, people are supposed to act according to their assigned rank and place in the society.  Most Chinese believe that maintaining the hierarchy is vital for social harmony. In traditional Chinese society, behaving with reverence and obedience according to your rank was not just a polite thing to do, rather it was the only way to survive. One wrong word or act in front of an emperor or a powerful official could actually cost people their life.

Chinese women seem inscrutible only until you understand the culture.Even today, the cultural inclination to maintain a more neutral public face remains. It is especially true when dealing with higher ups in authority and with customers. They are neither evasive nor uncaring but making a big song and dance when something goes wrong is simply not the Chinese thing to do.

Even those of us who have interacted with Chinese women just online know that they are extremely modest. They themselves are very generous with compliments and that will explain why so many Chinese ladies compliment you for your excellent Chinese when all you could muster is three wretched phrases – nihao (hello), xie xie (thanks) and zai jian (goodbye).

However, when they are at the receiving end of a compliment, instead of accepting it with a “xie xie” they usually brush it aside nonchalantly with “nali nali” that basically  means “no, no, I’m just ok”.  Generally,  your success with Chinese people will depend how well you handle the compliments they throw your way and how you react to their self disparaging statements. Don’t let their polite compliments go to your head and don’t take their self-effacing remarks, too literally. Once you start understanding the cultural impact of behavior learned over thousands of years on the thinking of Chinese women and on their behavior, they won’t remain so ‘inscrutable’ anymore.


From: Original         Author: Staff Writer         Time: 4/22/2012 12:09:01 AM

 
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#2012-05-21 20:04:00 by gaspasser @gaspasser
Reply V ery interesting article...
#2012-06-02 04:04:00 by Anonymous145705 @Anonymous145705
She is very Beautiful
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