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Dating Younger Chinese Women - Things to Know by John Abbot
Are you looking to date younger Chinese women here on CLM?  While not as common in China now as it was even a few years ago, it is still fairly easy to find younger Chinese women who are genuinely interested in and attracted to older Western men. Younger women of any culture are always attractive to us, and traditionally Chinese accept and even expect that older men will be in relationships with younger women. But even for two people in the same culture there are points to ponder. Add in the Cross Cultural differences and you can bet there will be some difficulties. However, if you're really looking for that kind of an adventure, here are seven suggestions for dating young women of China.

1.    Remember she is from a different “generation” than you. Then factor in the cultural differences. Even if she is only ten years younger than you, her life experiences have been different. Her favourite music, television shows and movies are all different than yours. Her view of the world is from a dramatically different place than yours. And that's a woman from your own country and culture.  Now add in this: except for women from the most sophisticated Chinese families, China girls have grown up lacking in worldliness. If she is 28 years old she may be more like an 18 year old girl from the West. Even with a younger Chinese woman you're going to need all the help you can get. But there isn't any book for you like this one.

2.    She has fewer life experiences than you do.  If she’s in her early 20s and you are in your 40s, she’s just beginning to experience adult life.  She's like a sponge trying to soak up life. She wants to explore many scenes and things that you have already tossed aside. She may want to go out partying while you want a night in or a sophisticated evening.  Her electric personality may attract you at first (and no one has the high voltage of a Chinese girl), but eventually working out a compromise between her need to take off and fly and your need to touch base and relax is a necessity for the relationship to survive.

3.    Accept that, in part, your attractiveness to her is based on the idea that you have financial security.  While you know that you have limited money because of debt, alimony, or child support obligations, she will see that paycheck of yours as “big money” compared to her own relatively meagher income as a working Chinese girl.  She will expect you to provide nice things and experiences for her.  Expect to pick up the check when dating younger China women, and expect to do some shopping for clothes and stuff. Of course shopping with a girl whose looks can make heads turn can make young Chinese women a lot of fun to shop with.

4.    She will tell you that she finds your maturity and wisdom sexy.  Most girls in China even think eye glasses are sexy on a man. Don’t try to act like you are 20.  If she wanted a 20 year old boy she has dozens to choose from. She chose you precisely because you’re not one of those guys, so act your age and stand out in her eyes.

5.    Don't be needy.  Neediness is not attractive to any woman, but your clinginess will especially turn off a Chinese woman. She thinks it's her role to be the helpless, needy one and your job to be the wise and patient leader. She's already wondering why you're not attached to someone mature and sophisticated. Don't feed her doubts (and bore her) by always being available, always wanting to be with her. When she messages or phones you, don't rush to respond.  The less she thinks you need her the more she will think that she needs you.

6.    Don’t be insecure.  Similar to the advice above, you shouldn’t feel that she has “graced” you with her presence.  Sure, she’s hot.  But don't you have a lot of qualities that make you attractive too? Isn't that why she’s going out with you?  Don’t be insecure about your relationship when dating young Chinese women.  It just puts them off.

7.    Be mature.  Be calm, cool, competent and in control. She is attracted to you because of your maturity, your stability and your life experience. Don’t try to act her age.  Be a man of your own age.  Your maturity is a natural draw for her. The fact that you are a worldly western gentleman of wisdom and experience, someone who can teach her the ways of the world, is your biggest draw. Don't spoil it by having anxiety attacks over her slightest absence.

If you can remember and stick to the above 7 rules, you have a reasonable chance of making your relationship with that cute, hot Chinese girl you start dating one that lasts for a long time.

From: Original         Author: John Abbot         Time: 7/19/2010 4:43:45 AM

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#2012-05-21 22:44:00 by gaspasser @gaspasser
Reply Good article John...well written...thank you.
#2012-09-25 10:54:00 by masonmike @masonmike
Reply thanks, i needed that
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