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Do Chinese Women Like Mama’s Boys? by Achelle Vinzon
Do Chinese women like mama’s boys?  Not in the sense that the term is understood in the west.  Western women often find adult men who are still very much attached to their parents, especially their mothers, a “turn off,” or unattractive.  For them, such closeness is a sign of weakness, a lack of independence.  In China, on the other hand, a close relationship with one’s mother, even through a man’s adult life, is a big part of the traditional concept of filial piety.

If a man still needs and asks for his mother’s approval about the woman he’s dating, a western woman would walk in the other direction as fast as she could, maybe while laughing and shaking her head at such unmanly behavior.  A Chinese woman, however, would actually find this behavior appealing and see it as a good sign that the man is filial.

Of course, in the west, such mother-son relationships are often unhealthy and do show a weakness in a man’s character and a manipulative or overprotective streak in the mother’s.  Additionally, such men are really more like big babies and their mothers treat them as such, hence the term “mama’s boy.”

This guy may be a little too much of a Mama's Boy, even for a Chinese woman.In China, the close relationship that a son has with her mother is simply a reflection of the tight family ties that are held in the highest regard and are preserved in Chinese society.  In fact, this relationship is not just unique to sons and mothers, but also to daughters and mothers.  The “closeness” is also unlike the intimate family bonds found in the west; it is more about being respectful and obedient towards one’s elders regardless of the child’s age, as well as being responsible for them especially during their senior years. 

Respect, obedience, and responsibility towards one’s parents are all enclosed within the traditional concept of filial piety.  This concept, in fact, permeates all aspects of a child’s life even when he/she has become an independent adult.  While Chinese children may be old and capable enough to live on their own and support themselves, their parents, particularly their mothers, still get involved in most of their decisions.

This is especially true when it comes to finding a partner.  A son, or daughter, may have the freedom to make his or her own choices, but foremost in their mind is whether or not their mother will approve of their choice.  Parental influence on spouse selection is not only about a parent wanting the best for her child; in China, it is also about the preservation of traditional marriage customs and family values.

In a sense, the traditional standards that many Chinese singles use when searching for a mate are as much their own as they are also their mother’s.  For a Chinese woman, a very important part of these standards is a man’s filial piety.  A Chinese woman would want a partner that she can be sure would also be filial towards her own parents and the best indication of this is the man’s sense of duty towards his own parents.

A man seeking and listening to the advice of his mother when choosing a wife is hardly cause for a Chinese woman to be turned off.  She understands the significance of this behavior as she most likely also does the same.  She understands that the approval of her potential partner’s mother is crucial to their relationship, especially given the fact that Chinese mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships are often characterized by animosity. 

Any foreign man who has serious intentions about finding a Chinese wife would do well to remember that his relationship with his own mother will be of great interest to any Chinese woman he dates, but in a very different manner than he would normally expect from western women.  A close relationship with his mother will actually earn him a lot of points with a Chinese lady he’s interested in and might also help him become more likeable to her parents.     


From: Original         Author: Achelle Vinzon         Time: 7/10/2013 6:41:47 PM

 
Comments
Page: /1 1
#2013-07-13 22:26:00 by isbella2010 @isbella2010
Reply i think most of the women don't like the monther's son...
#2013-07-19 00:30:00 by twhite725 @twhite725
Reply I guess Chinese women are more pragmatic than you give them credit. 2500 years of Confucianism was also 2500 years or more misery under the thumb of mother-in-law. The abstract notion of filial piety may have many important effects in Chinese culture and society such as the law requiring 8 visits a year to aging parents, but if mama's boy translates to daughter-in-law's subservience then not a good trade-off.
#2013-07-19 00:40:00 by twhite725 @twhite725
Reply The lyrics condensed to remove the frequent refrain, Mother in law:
The worst person I know
Mother in law, mother in law
She worries me so
If she leaves us alone
We could have a happy home
Sent from down below
Mother in law, mother in law
Satan should be her name
To me they're about the same
Everytime I open my mouth
Steps in trying to put me out
How could you stood so low
Come home with my pay
She asks me what I made
She thinks her advice is a contribution
If she would leave that would be the solution
Don't come back no more
#2013-08-09 07:00:00 by fishlida @fishlida
Reply I met one, dumped him, that's all
#2013-09-30 03:06:00 by ZhuzhenLiu @ZhuzhenLiu
Reply I loved reading it, I sent a link to facebook
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