CLM Home     ALM Home     CLM Magazine Home     Blogs     Forum
Don't Toss Out a Diamond with the Coal by John Abbot
This is an interesting letter we received some time ago, and I set it aside to create an article, then forgot about it until coming upon it again yesterday. It tells us that maybe by being too cautious about the China ladies you’re dating on CLM you could end up passing over the chance of a lifetime.  This member had been dating someone on our site for a while when he discovered her photo was fake. Most of us would have simply ditched (and probably reported her, but because she had really won his heart with her personality, she was one Chinese lady he could not just toss aside in anger. So instead he confronted her. Read the member’s own words to discover the outcome.
 
“I have been on CLM for about 6 months or so, and have met many wonderful Chinese ladies on the site. I narrowed my choices down to 5 ladies I wanted to meet in person. The one I eventually chose was doubtful at first, because she did not post her true picture. Usually, when I discovered the person I was in contact with did not look like the posted picture, I would stop further contact immediately. But this
lady spoke to my heart, and I wanted to meet her in person to find out if she was the real thing.
 
I (had) showed her picture to a Chinese friend of mine, and was told the picture was of a TV personality. I was crushed.  I wanted to cease all communications with her, but when I confronted her with this news, she told me that she was not allowed to put her picture on the net because of her job. I could understand this, so I told her wanted a camera photo of her and not a professional photo. She sent me a photo, and she was beautiful.

Don't let one mistake by your Chinese love destroy what could be a great future.Although I had some doubts, we made arrangements to meet in China, and it was love at first sight. She told me later that her legs began to shake when she saw me, and could not stop her hands from trembling. As for me, my heart rate must have gone to 160bpm or more.
 
Although she speaks minimum English, we communicate ok. I bought a hand held translator, and we wrote notes to each other for hours. I have visited with her in Beijing and in Shenzhen. I met her family, and have visited with her 5 or 6 times. I try to get to China at least once a month. We have been in contact everyday since, and this October, I asked her to marry me. She accepted, and we hope to have the wedding in Beijing this December. We have completed all the marriage paperwork, and have registered with the Chinese government, and now we are just waiting for the ceremony.
 
Thank you for your service, and the on line translator is invaluable. We still use it to talk each night on the computer.
 
I am very fortunate to find a woman who would even consider loving me at my age. But I find that Chinese women do not look at age the same as the American woman looks at this issue.  I am healthy and look 20 years younger, but I am older. We have discussed this frequently, but it does not seem to bother her. I had many Chinese women ask me why I was searching for a Chinese wife.  Most of them thought I was on the site just to play. I explained that I had been married in the USA for a long time, and that I admired the Chinese culture where the woman is dedicated to husband, family, and home. I was married in the USA to a shopaholic; she was rarely home, and did not put me, or the family, in her priorities.  I am so happy to find a woman who loves me, and wants to have home and family as her priority.”
 
This member could not let us post their success story because of ongoing concerns about her employment situation, but he did give me permission to tell this story on his behalf. If there is a lesson, maybe it is to not throw away that one China lady who seems perfect just because you’ve caught her in a seeming lie. There are both cultural and lifestyle reasons why a person might have to do something that seems offensive at first glance but is easily explained as necessary due to the public nature of online dating. Give your China lady a chance to explain before you break her heart and maybe throw away your best chance at happiness.


From: Original         Author: John Abbot         Time: 7/23/2010 6:24:56 PM

 
Comments
Page: /1 1
#2012-04-20 06:30:00 by jodara1978 @jodara1978
Reply My sincere thanks to CLM group for their educative, informative and impressive emagazine it really expose me to reality of human personality from the perspective of Chinese people point of view about relationship in term of life and living needs in general definitely every person who learn about art of interacting with other people than one native people will find happiness, as am feeling while writing this few line of comments expressing my candid opinion
Comments
Page: /1 1
Comment
To respond to another member's comment type @ followed by their name before your comment, like this: @username Then leave a space.