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How Beautiful Chinese Women Helped Canada Win the Olympics by John Abbot (A Canadian)

If you remember back to the 2008 Beijing Olympics there was a lot of controversy over the fact that the host nation, China, who coincidentally had the most Gold medals but were a distant second in medals overall, rated the country that wins the Olympics as the one that has the most Gold medals. This seems to defy logic to a degree that we can only assume it was the beautiful Chinese women who were behind it.
On the other hand, the Americans argued that whoever had the most medals, regardless of quality, was clearly the winner. This was an equally convenient argument to make since the USA had far more medals but most were made of the same substance as pennies. Following this equally specious logic one would have to conclude that a country with 60 Bronze medals and no Gold or Silver would win the Olympics against a country with 59 Gold medals and no Silver or Bronze.  This thinking is so bizarre and so aimed at being right at all costs that we must conclude it was generated by American women, who have often demonstrated they will say anything if it will assist them in advancing their ever growing dominance over American men.
Ignoring the politically correct but inane suggestion that “nobody wins the Olympics”, we would have argued, as many did back then, that obviously there should be different values attributed to the different medal qualities – say 5 for Gold, 3 for Silver and 1 for Bronze, and then the total value of all medals held by a country would determine the “Winner”. Back during the Beijing Olympics this would have resulted in a virtual tie between the USA and China with China winning by the slightest of margins, and we would have thought this was eminently fair.
However, recent events have caused us to give more thought to this issue and now we can see the underlying correctness of the position taken by those wise and wonderful Chinese ladies. Clearly they were correct and the winner of the Olympics is quite obviously the country that attains the highest number of Gold medals.
Here are the Olympic Rankings, as of the time of writing, for the Vancouver Olympics as listed by CTV, a clearly misguided Canadian television network, which appears to have placed powerful American sponsorships over indisputable Chinese female logic and true Canadian patriotism.

The final standings as misguided American women would wrongly claim.

Here, on the other hand, is how you would see the Olympics standings if you were viewing them in China, where clearly the superior logic and renowned common sense of beautiful Chinese women prevails.

The correct final standings as per the correct logic of beautiful Chinese women.
At CLM eMagazine and we now have a clearer understanding of the indisputable rightness of the Chinese position on this matter, as dictated by those wise and sincere Women of China, and we now declare in advance that Canada is the unequivocal Winner of the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympic Games. Any complaints by our American members will be viewed as nothing more than sour grapes.

From: Original         Author: John Abbot (A Canadian)         Time: 2/28/2010 2:36:36 PM

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