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Lanikai & GTX888 Find True Love on CLM (Conclusion) by Lanikai
So another day passed and we were finally back in Duyun. She did not talk to me, she simply made dinner, we ate, watched TV for a while, and then she got up and went to our bedroom. So I got up turned off the TV and followed her to the bedroom. Needless to say, I got the cold shoulder that night! Tired from the train ride I slept a little late and when I got up she was gone! I waited for 3 hours for her to return, before I finally called her on her cell phone! Now, when your wife speaks no English and you speak no Mandarin, you can’t communicate on the phone, but I did my best to tell her to come home right now! The few English words she knew were: you, home, go, now! So I said: “You go home now!” I heard her laugh on the other end of the line and she hung up.  I waited about an hour and called her again and got the same result! So she finally came home at 6 pm and I was fuming! But she was all smiles! Once I saw that Beautiful smile of hers, I couldn’t stay mad! At least she was talking again!
So things seem to have gotten better, when she sits down next to me and through the translator says: I understand now! You are just here on Holiday and wanted to have fun with me! You will now go back to Hawaii and forgot me! If you want a divorce I will give it to you, but I will not tell my son or family and friends. Then you are free to remarry if you want, I will not! Now I am in total shock! What would make my Beautiful wife think such thoughts? My Dear Wife thought that I did not Love her and our marriage was some sort of elaborate scam on her?  I didn’t know what to say to her? Well, to keep it short, after a very long and slow conversation with her, I found out that her fears were based on what others had told her. That foreigner would only want to take advantage of her and leave her, they were not sincere and so on. I told her I am not that kind of person, and asked her, if I did anything to make her think I was such a person? Her reply was, “I know you Love me!” Then she asked if she could come to Hawaii to be with me? Naturally I told her that I wanted her with me. And she said: “How?” So I had to explain to her about the different types of visas! She did not know there was more then the Tourist, Student and Work visa. I explained about the Spousal visa and we looked it up together on the internet. The website address is: http://travel.state.gov/visa/immigrants/types/types_2991.html   fortunately, there was a Chinese version she could read for herself. Otherwise I think she might not have believed me. I think this convinced her that I had not deceived her and she was very happy once again.
So it took me about 2 days to complete the I-130 and g-325a forms for myself, my wife and step-son. I recommend that you read the I-130 instructions carefully before you start working on completing the applications and forms. Most of it has to be in English, but there are parts that must be in Chinese characters and they must be signed by your spouse! Then there are the required proofs of marriage, besides your Marriage Certificate and Divorce documents! (Which you will need translated into English by a professional!)  Most of the documents you will not be able to provide, to show your marriage is genuine, since they require your wife to be physically in the U.S.A. to sign the documents. Like joint bank accounts, joint property, and joint lease. We tried getting a joint bank account in China, but we were told that a Bank Account could only be in one name! So you’ll probably have to do what we have done, which is to get sworn affidavits by third parties. Make sure you read the details about the sworn affidavits. You’ll also need passport sized photos of yourself, your wife and her child on a white background, face measuring about 1 inch from chin to top of head! So make sure to get them before you leave China! Also, you can not file this form with any US Embassy, they must be sent to the Processing Center in Chicago. The current filing fee is $355.00 USD for each form submitted.

 
GTX888 and her son - Lanikai's new step-son
 
So we are currently waiting for our Marital Petition to be reviewed, processed and approved. The current waiting period is 6 months after receipt, before your application will be even looked at. Again, carefully review your applications and documents before you submit them, make sure they are signed and dated, make sure you include payment. Include photos of the both of you together at many different places, Wedding photos, copies of written letters, cards, your chat’s, anything that would your relationship is continuous and ongoing!  If you don’t, you’ll be informed 6 months later! After it is approved then, begins the Immigration Visa application process. The one good thing is that your wife automatically qualifies for a visa once your petition is approved. You are not subject to visa quotas or waiting list! But you will still have to meet all other visa requirements. The U.S. Government will not tell you how long the processing times are, until after they assign you a case number! But from what information that we have been able to gather, the current timeframe is between 10 to 18 months.  
            So I want to return to China in January and stay until March, to spend the Spring Festival with my lovely wife and son! But my wife wants to have the wedding banquet when I return. Now we have figured, If we do that, I will have to have about $10,000 USD, which I don’t happen to have right now! So I may go in either April or May instead. So in the meantime, we usually chat every day, well into the night!
            My last bit of advice is that you save up all the patience and understanding that you can! You are going to need it, let me tell you! The differences in Chinese culture and US culture are vast! Do not get angry if you set a chat time and she keeps you waiting for hours! Sometimes, it is beyond her control, like a 4 hour power outage! Other times, it might be a friend called and they went out for a meal, while you wait at your computer for hours. Oh! And also, don’t assume that just because your message to her appeared in your chat window, that she got your message! The Chinese Internet has its problems. It happens all the time with us! And checking the chat history doesn’t mean she got it either! If she is not responding to your messages, the odds are, is that she hasn’t gotten it yet! So be patient, you can try restarting your chat! Make sure you periodically empty your temporary Internet files to keep your chat optimized. Be honest, truthful, and sincere at all times. And if you are here at this site, to find a brief sexual partner for your visit to China, then you are at the wrong website!
            And for you Western men, when you first meet your young lady, do not call her, Dear, Sweetheart, or use any Western terms of affection! Have some respect for her! These are terms only used by husband and wives or those having extramarital affairs. So you are actually be insulting her from the very beginning! Almost like calling her a whore! Ask her how you should address her, she will probably tell you her name! Call her by her name, until you get her permission or the day she calls you Dear! Then it should be safe for you to also use the term! And keep your conversations clean and proper! Telling a Chinese woman that hardly knows you, that you want to make love to her, is the equivalent of telling her, that you think she is a prostitute!
            Well, that’s about all the advice that my wife and I have to offer! We wish that everyone finds the special person you are looking for! Just be open about yourself and be sincere and May Good Fortune Bless You, as we were Blessed!
 
Lanikai & gtx888


From: Original         Author: Lanikai         Time: 3/5/2010 3:58:25 PM

 
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#2018-03-05 00:05:00 by WalkerRJ @WalkerRJ
Reply Thank you Lanikai & GTX888 for sharing your story, it is testimony to the fact that Love conquers all.
Oh and Congratulations to you both :))
WalkerRJ
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