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Seeking Security? Have a Video Chat. by John Abbot

We recently received a letter of concern by a good member expressing his disappointment that:

1. Too many of the Chinese women on www.ChinaLoveMatch.net have posted photos that are not true, and
 
2. Too many of the attractive Chinese girls on CLM turn up in Scammer Prison.
 
These concerns seemed to be worth addressing here in the eMagazine as an article because they are probably concerns felt by more members than just one.
 
These are valid concerns but it’s important that members realize that they are true of all online dating sites. Women and men from all societies will do what it takes to make their selves look as good as possible, so of course they post the best photos they can find. And the internet is loaded with scammers who are trying to take your money through fraudulent misrepresentations, and they tend to flock to internet dating sites and social networking sites most of all. How many dating sites are trying to resolve these issues?  Way to few.
 
Here is our take on them at CLM.
 
Regarding the ladies who post photos that are "untrue", if you mean they are actually photos of someone else then please report them and we will force the member to prove that is her or to remove them. When a member of CLM, whether a Chinese lady or Western man, posts a photo on their profile that is not themselves, the moment we have evidence of that we disapprove the photo(s) and warn the member to delete it and desist from such behavior. If she/he persists and does it again we terminate their membership without further warning. If we have evidence that they were using the photos in any attempt to liberate a member of his/her money we additionally will throw them in Scammer Prison.Another Beautiful Chinese Woman On ChinaLoveMatch.net
 
 If the member is posting photos that are herself (or himself) but that look much better than they look in the day to day world it is usually because they have had studio photos taken (glamour shots) which are posed and set up professionally, including makeup, dress, the works. Otherwise it’s because the photos were taken many years ago. Both of these are common occurrences but we don’t know how to control it – we can’t know and neither can you that they don’t really look that good until you see them in other photos or by some other means.   However, the glamour shots are a pretty good indication that you should insist on seeing something that is taken in a day to day setting. 
 
The best way to resolve this issue before getting too committed to a person is to insist on a video (webcam) chat. There are Chinese women who do not have webcams, but it isn’t the ones who do have professional glamour shots. If she can afford professional glamour shots then she can afford a decent webcam. Insist on seeing her in her day to day life on a webcam. Of course don’t be blunt about it, and don’t make it an issue on day 1, but make it happen before your heart becomes committed to this “perfect” woman. If she claims she can’t afford a webcam, ask her to go to an internet café or a friend’s home where she can utilize one. If you have to ultimately confess that you are finding yourself feeling really close to her and the last step to being able to feel sure is to see her in her natural and present state, then do so. But have the video chat – if she can’t understand or simply never makes it happen, then you can’t trust her – it’s that simple.
 
The other complaint, that too many of the attractive Chinese women end up in Scammer Prison demands a serious rebuttal. To our knowledge we are the only legitimate dating site that has tried to take this problem on and truly protect our members from this criminal element that is running free across the internet with wild abandon.  Scammers are scammers and they are infiltrating all dating and social networking websites.  A Scammer doesn’t just choose one website and concentrate all his/her efforts on that one website. The same Scammer that is in our Scammer Prison is gleefully fleecing his/her victims on virtually every major dating site. The difference is that CLM is trying to catch them and when we do we make it highly visible in Scammer Prison and additionally we warn our members about them. We actively promote reporting of Scammers by members and it is paying off as more and more members are realizing that they can also help by protecting each other.
 
So it seems odd to us that any member would prefer a website that allows scammers to run free, rather than feel some comfort in knowing that their website is doing everything possible to be sure that Scammers are not allowed to take advantage of you. On most other dating websites you'd still be happily messaging that "beautiful Chinese woman" who in actuality might be a "large Nigerian man", instead of being disappointed to see her in Scammer Prison and receiving a personal notice in your email that she’s been canceled and is not to be trusted.
 
Or Is She?
 But finally, the same cure for untrue photos is also the best cure for getting rid of scammers. Insist on a video chat. If somehow a Scammer has gotten on to CLM, and the good ones still might, and if for some reason you are “her” first victim or “she” hasn’t been reported yet, then you can still pretty much completely protect yourself by insisting on a webcam chat. At least 99% of Scammers are not the person in their posted photo so how can they have a webcam chat – they will always and forever make excuses not to oblige you. Do not commit your heart until you’ve had that video chat, no matter what. Because the next thing after you do commit your heart is going to cost money, a trip to China is no small outlay (but it is an outlay well worth the money, even if it’s not to meet your love).
 
So we highly recommend that you start asking everyone you meet to have a video chat. It doesn't have to be on our website, you can take them to Yahoo or MSN or SKYPE, but it is very important. We do however have many excellent video chat features, and one of them is the ability to check the person's IP location while you are chatting. So you can not only tell if it is really her and she does look as good as you hoped, but you can tell is she’s sitting where she says she is. Of course that feature is also available on the instant typed chat and the messaging system. In addition, if you stay on CLM to do your chatting then if “she” does try to Scam you the evidence is on the record here and much easier for us to go locate and produce.
 
At CLM we made the decision that if we allow these criminals freedom to commit their crimes on our website, then we’re really no better than they are. If we aren’t part of the cure, then we are part of the problem. So we’ve made our commitment to fight Scamming (and false photos) forever. If we lose a few members who are disappointed to see some of the best looking China girls canceled and stuck in Scammer Prison we will truly miss you and regret the loss of you membership, but we’d rather you be fleeced somewhere else than her on our website. For the majority of you, it’s your website too and we thank you for your daily contributions to the effort by reporting the suspicious activity you encounter.


From: Original         Author: John Abbot         Time: 3/5/2010 4:28:02 PM

 
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