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The Good, The Bad & The Downright Ugly by John Abbot
We've frequently received letters from members that are very complimentary, a few that raise serious (or not so serious) questions or concerns and also a few that don't seem to appreciate us very much at all (to say the least). Here are 3 examples that demonstrate the different thoughts of members, and the different ways of communicating their thoughts that people adopt. We suggest that the character of the writer is clearly demonstrated by the manner in which he or she communicates. This movie was actually pretty darned entertaining, unlike the ugly letter discussed in the article below.


"Since I have joined your service last year I have been deeply impressed by your service and also by your actions against scammers. I have noticed that because of this threat of being exposed "many would be scammers" have left or removed their profiles from this site of their own accord. Excellent! This facility also weeds out less desirable characters and attracts better quality correspondents.

Your new articles and blogs on China culture are a big improvement. Your section on blogs by women members on their point of view is a great asset and help to those members who do not live and work in Modern China and who seriously are looking for a permanent wife. While there is much information available on China history and culture of the past available in books, previous to the cultural evolution, it does not reflect the opinions of modern day Chinese women and customary way of thinking.

Unfortunately many dating sites and also marriage agencies ( for which one pays a heavy fee for each translated letter and a meeting and greeting and whopping big success fee) on the net, perpetuate the idea of the shy, timid, frightened Chinese woman twirling an umbrella and hiding behind the fan caricature.

Your instant translation device is truly a great help in direct communication and cuts out the human "translator" and marriage agencies who make up stories about non-existent women. (I have had to cancel several trips now because of this practice in deceit). As a result of your vigilance, I have been able to make some real friends for a change and this has indirectly led to being able to trace a distant relative living in China.

Technical problem: Unfortunately I have noticed that although I have the sound on, for when somebody tries to chat with me this never translates into sound alert at my side. This is the only technical hitch that I have observed with your service.

I am extremely happy with your service and as a result I have every intention of coming to visit China as soon as I am able to next year (when it is not winter in China). The suggestion that you will extend your services into a sort of travel assistance group is also a very good idea. Keep up the good work."

We want to thank this member fo rthe great letter, which made us feel all warm and toasty inside. Needless to say the next letter didn't have the same effect, and the last one created quite the opposite effect.

MEMBER LETTER #2 - The Bad (Well, funny anyway).

We do get polite complaint letters, and often the complaint is legitimate, often it is not. However so long as the person complaining is polite, we're happy to receive the letter and set to work fixing the issue or helping the member fix it from his/her end.  Sometimes such complaints lead to real improvements of the website.  The following was a very polite complaint that really required only a brief explanation. It was also pretty funny for reasons you'll likely figure out.

"I am having problems receiving the full message from members. It seems to be encripted, or something. (See below) I believe my computer is set correctly but will have it checked again, it does not do this on any other Web Site. Please see if this is a problem with your server. -------------------------- Personal Stuff Deep Thoughts : "你是为我打开家门的那个人吗?我在找你," About Me: 我喜欢家的感受,喜欢有你在我的身边。我是一个温存的女人,是一个企业的管理人员,有我你一定会好的Admitted Faults : Description of Ideal Partner 只要你是48-80岁,身高在180-200CM想结婚就来找我。你要诚实,有责任心,只要有爱就来吧"

The problem is that this member was actually looking at a Chinese member's profile but hadn't realized that, of course, most Chinese members are going to write their profile in Chinese, so he thought our server was accidentally encrypting the profile's message.  We found that to be quite funny, and once we explained it to him, the member seemed to also think it was pretty funny.  He has been a very good long term member since this initial misunderstanding.

MEMBER LETTER #3 - The Downright Ugly

This letter was received very recently:

"Hi, there is csically shit you talking bout you testimonials. simple way you copied some else. FIRST..... Everything on your WWW you make shit. Im honest, believe me! at less, I pleased, you!!!!! DO ERASE FOR EVER MY PROFILE FROM YOUR WEB! WAY? BECAUSE I CANNOT FIND ANY BUTTON WHIHC ALLOWED ME TO DO ME ERASE BY MY SELF. UNPROFFESIONAL"

I have not tried to correct his typos and spelling errors, but you will get the drift (meaning).  We really wish this guy would have written a polite letter setting out his complaints and we'd have tried to make things right for him. Having said that though, we wish to assure everyone that we have not created or copied our testimonials and each and every one has been both genuine and volunteered by the sender.

Also, you can delete your membership very easily on your "Account Settings" page.  That doesn't seem all that difficult a place to find it and so we're wondering how hard he really looked, how blind he might be or just how dumb he really is?  But in any event, if he'd just written and asked we'd have been glad to explain to him how to delete himself from the website.

What puzzles us the very most about this member's letter (well, ex-member) is that based on his outbox he appears to be involved in a nice relationship with a lady member of CLM. So why would he be so upset? We just don't get this kind of letter, so if you're feeling disgruntled please just sit down and write a polite letter explaining your concerns and we'll be happy to do our best to make things right for you. Please write to

From: Original         Author: John Abbot         Time: 9/4/2010 5:32:09 PM

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